As you can see me and my family are a sports family who love to try other new sports . We also like training for Athletics and other activities as well.
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Yesterday once I came back from Netball from our 2nd place win . As soon as I came home getting ready for my training with my dad . I went to go get my rugby ball from the roof .
But as soon as I got the ball and threw it off the roof before I suddenly came tumbling down fast as like I was rushing down if I was getting chased by someone on the roof .
Well I came tumbling down and fell off the roof trying to come down onto my dad's shoulders . But then suddenly I still came tumbling down on my dad’s shoulders .
After I came tumbling down the roof leaving me a sore bruised leg . My Mum dashed too me as soon as possible making sure that I haven’t broke a leg . Also my dad was asking if I was ok to make sure I was all right .
After tumbling down the roof I was thinking that I would never got to play sports any more if I broke a leg it would of been over for me if I had a broke leg . But then lucky for me I was so happy that I never broke a leg but still had a sore bruised leg .
And thats how I fell off the roof for the first time the end .
Hi Aneelis,
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you recovered from the fall! It would be really great to edit this piece of writing as there are times when your flow is interrupted - you get halfway through a sentence and then start writing a different one for example. Next week we will focus on writing really clear sentences.
Talofa Annelis!
ReplyDeleteMy name is Sia and I attend St Pius X Catholic School.
Aw, sounds like you had a rough fall! I really like how you separated your paragraphs, makes more sense from my view.
Believe me, my family is really sport that most of the times, they think they know it all, but next thing you know, they've hurt themselves! Recently, my mum just had her cast taken off from her leg by the cause of sports! It was a "think you know it all" situation at the time, but I'm sure you'll understand!
Overall, this writing is beautiful !
Blessed Weekend,
Sia.
Hi Annelis,
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better after your fall. I thought your writing was very good, but I think you should reread your writing before you post. Other than that, I thought your writing was great!
Great Job!
Aaliyah